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Life Musings personal growth

Two Months Back in the OC

I have been back in my beloved Southern California for two whole months now and it has taken me that whole time to get things under control, and yet, I have very little accomplished.

I have been procrastinating writing anything as I feel like I have nothing to comment or talk about. In reality, there is a lot to comment and talk about. I could write about my recent travels across Europe; training (or the lack thereof) for Ragnar Relay Las Vegas; my current dealings with my ankle surgery; the subsequent rehab/restrictions on activity; how I feel like my depression has come back and my daily struggle to bring myself out of it.

sunny day view before a run
December in Southern California

Many a nights I have told myself, today is the day. I WILL write, I WILL make progress in productivity and personal development. Two months I have had the time and for two months I have not used any of it productively. Consequentially, now that I find my time more accounted for with various jobs, I finally get the motivation to act. It would have been a constructive use of my time when I had nothing else to do during my days but alas, the universe works in weird ways.

I think what it comes down to is that I am still afraid. I am afraid of putting myself out there and to have my personal opinions possibly criticized by strangers. Being afraid never led to any great changes in life. And with the blog being named “Changes On The Horizon,” what purpose would it serve if I didn’t allow change in my life?

Mini goals: lets start with mini goals. From now until January 1st (9 days), I am promising myself to write SOMETHING everyday, even if it seems trivial to me because I want to create a life that makes me happy.

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