I first purchased this domain in 2016 with the grand idea that I was going to take off and dive into the solo-prenuer nomadic lifestyle. But little did I know I had a lot of personal growth to go through.

My time in Southern California was done and life was transitioning into what I had spent the last few years dreaming of:

If you can’t tell, that has not happened but for so many different and wonderful [and not so wonderful!] reasons. 

First off, I never made it onto a cruise ship working. 

Looking back, THANK GOODNESS! 

I do not believe it would have been the right environment for me at that moment in my life. I still believe that it would have been a great experience and a smart way to make/save money to pay off my student loans. 

BUT the idea of living in a small dorm-like room with a roommate and back to college-like living is not something that appeals to me…not even when I was in college. 

So I am grateful that dream never worked out no matter how hard I tried, networked, and crafted my resume and skills. 

Secondly, I moved back home to regroup.

I did go off on my own solo trip later that year with grand ambitions to blog and document it all. 

However, I am someone who is all about the details and preparations and when I was traveling abroad on a  budget, I found myself spending more time planning and budgeting in a way I was not enjoying.

I decided that I wanted to just enjoy my time and not worry about seeing all the things & documenting all the stuffs to have a blog post someone will want to read.

So that left this blog just sitting here….empty. 

I definitely fell into the hype that influencers have, especially back in 2015/2016. 

From my perspective, there were only a few mega travel bloggers that had made it and it looked easy [oh how naive I was, ha!]. 

Then I thought: fitness! Of course! 

Well…I didn’t have much to offer in that space and I wasn’t comfortable sharing all of my run details, meals, etc. 

It seemed too personal and at that point in my life, I was not as forthcoming to share my private life onto the interwebs.

Through all this, I knew I was happy to have this space because I felt “one day…” 

I was also happy with the domain name and potential brand. 

Changes On The Horizon. 

My oh my, how fitting is that name? 

Since its inception, this blog has gone through many changes, and personally, I have been through many changes.

Bringing this all back to the topic at hand: 

Recently I have gone through the most transformation and personal growth. 

As I am writing this, we (the world) are in the middle of a pandemic and while this time at home has helped, the work began before stay-at-home orders. 

If not, I don’t think I would be in the same head space I am in now.

For years, I felt as if I kept getting in my own way of personal and professional development. 

I consumed program after coaching program and traditional therapy. 

While I was successful with some of it, I still felt like there was a weight holding me down.

No matter how future-focused and specific I got in my goals, it was blocked.

I was so frustrated!

Professionally, I felt as if I was being taken advantage of, lacking the know-how to use my voice and advocate for myself. 

Personally, my relationships with everyone in my life were crumbling. 

I was SUUUPER defensive, knowing that the root of the issues was my own insecurities. 

For some reason, I couldn’t process them effectively. 

Let me be clear: 

Professional and personal coaching programs are wonderful for personal growth. 

I am very thankful for all the work I have done and I look forward to going back through each program.

Therapy was the key to unlocking my blocks.

But not just any kind of therapy.

EMDR

No, that’s not some type of EDM music but a very specific type of therapy that processes cognitive blocks that result from PTSD and trauma. 

My background and personal story that lead me to that decision is a topic for another day, promise [but you can get a summary on my about page].

Just know: it is a process!

Starting in February of this year, I completed one cycle of EMDR therapy before the stay-at-home orders were issued. 

The timing worked out really well for me and while I have more to go through once my therapist’s office opens up again, this one cycle really helped me to untether myself from some weight holding me back.

The biggest difference for me at this point in my personal growth was to finally be living in a neutral space. 

I was neither reactive (which I struggled with a lot) but I was also not proactive and got too ahead of myself.

Each day I woke up with nothing weighing on my mind. 

The pandemic helped a lot, I do believe.

The world was able to stop with me so I could catch up and experience life anew.

I was able to go through the day and just BE.

For anyone who has done some therapy or coaching, this is BIG.

Hallelujah, was this euphoric! 

Because of this new attitude and perspective on life, I found myself opening up and wanting to share my journey.

My friends have benefitted from my guidance/advice/perspective for years. I am very forthcoming in my personal circle.

But this new worldview has me wanting to be that advocate for others in a wider space. WITHOUT the fear holding me back and preventing me from publishing anything for 4 years.

I am not an expert on your life but I am the leading specialist on my personal life and journey and that is what I will be sharing.

Fear and insecurities live in the dark. Personal growth lives in the light.

As we talk more about mental health and self-growth, more light is allowed in & brings people together.

I plan to use this space I’ve held for years to share my journey and life, wherever that takes me. 

I am a very empathetic person and want to mentor and guide people through their struggles. And if I can use this space to virtually help another person, my heart will be happy.

I still have a long ways to go in my personal growth process and I am so excited to see who I become on the other side.

So far, I am liking the new Jillian I am becoming. 

She’s awesome.

Say hi if you want to meet her as well 🙂

** featured photo by Luo Lei on Unsplash