Nothing irks me more than when I am minding my own business and someone comes along and tells me how I *should* be living my life.

When on Pinterest or Instagram or any other form of social media, I find myself bombarded with how I *should* be practicing self-care on the weekends.

So in honor of all those ways social media is telling us to practice self-care, I thought I would come up with the reasons why I don’t like them.

#1 Bubble Baths

Ew. Just ew. Never has the prospect of sitting in progressively dirty water been high on my list of enjoyable activities. 

It takes a while for the tub to fill up, the water starts cooling down instantly, it’s never comfortable on your neck…so many things wrong with it. (How is that much water use sustainable for the earth? What about places in a drought??)

#2 Face Masks/Hair Masks etc

This either involves yourself going to the store and purchasing the single-use products or taking the time to buy ingredients and DIY. It’s time that would be better spent elsewhere. 

And how is this supposed to be fun and effective? I’m convinced it’s a placebo effect. An activity to trick your mind into thinking you’re doing something beneficial to your skin/body.

#3 The Pressure

The whole point of self-care is to do things that honor yourself. When did they become an exhaustive list of things to do and check off? It sounds more like pressure and the expectation to do things every day to have a healthy relationship with yourself. What happens if you miss a day? Are you then not practicing self-care?

Storytime: I don’t know what day it actually started but I was once on a walking streak after coming back home from months of travel. 

I told myself I was going to go for a walk every day I could because I absolutely love the trail by my home. I noticed it was every day and then it became a bit obsessive.

Suddenly, my days revolved around getting my walk-in and when it was going to happen: before work, during work, after work?? Surely. this was for my self-care “me” time. I HAD to do it every day to take care of myself.

Then one day, it just didn’t work out. I had planned for after work but I had to stay later unexpectedly which meant I was going home after sunset. Call me fearful but I choose not to walk alone at night.

I was SO MAD at myself. Saying really mean things about myself and about my job and how it ruined my streak and I was now a failure. I was really cruel to myself.

Luckily, I was able to recognize this behavior right away and stopped in mid-sentence.

The whole purpose of daily walking was originally intended because I loved to make that walk. I wanted to honor myself by doing something I loved when I could. All of a sudden it became a challenge and a game to see how long of a streak I could go.

When it all blew up in my face, I realized I needed to change the way I associate myself with movement and “self-care”.

Where did all this pressure to do it every day come from? Was I signed up for a challenge? No. This was supposed to be for me and me alone. No one would know if I skipped a day, nor would they care.

Somehow though, I had it in my mind that I needed to do it every day to prove to myself I was better than before? I’m still not sure why I had that in my head to this day, it has been almost a year since this happened. 

What I feel like happens when one is trying to practice self-care is the input from the outside world on how it should look like skews it. The constant reminder that we need to feel gratitude and to do all these things to make sure we are taking care of ourselves. And that it has to happen every day or at least weekly or else we aren’t doing it.

Self-care is about YOU. Doing what feels right in the moment to honor where YOU are right now.

What can you do right now that makes you feel good and connected to yourself?

Is this something you want to incorporate daily? Weekly? Monthly?

What is your schedule like? Are you able to make changes to take care of yourself?

What if self-care is more about the attitude and perspective than an actual To-Do list of activities that someone said will make you feel better?

Like in my previous post about my favorite mental health resources, I have a list of a few things that I can pull from to practice self-care. They are not something I do every day but are activities that I know make me feel better about myself and is something that is good for my mental and/or physical health.

A few examples for your inspiration:

• cooking a meal
• baking for friends
• movement/exercise
• reading
• eating a sweet treat
• napping
• lighting a candle
• keeping my holiday decorations up longer than expected
• listening to music 
• taking a drive up the coast or down  back road to nowhere
• talking with family or friends
• visiting friends and family
• cross-stitching/embroidery
• DIY crafts & decor

Ok, that’s more than a few but I hope that gives you an idea that self-care doesn’t need to be something new or something you buy. It most certainly doesn’t need to be a To-Do list that someone else came up with.

And for certain, self-care is for YOU. Some days you might need it more than others. The best part about being adult humans is having the body autonomy to make those decisions for ourselves and not answer to someone else.

Take the pressure off yourself and dive into what your body is telling you it needs in a certain moment.

It’s a cliche because it’s true, and something I am leaning into more:

The longest relationship you will have is with yourself. Listen to what they need and want. Learn when to push boundaries and when to honor your comfort zone.

Live life for yourself and silence out others (me included).

Pin, Share, & Comment on some of the self-care suggestions that don’t vibe with you.

*featured image by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash