We are all fed the same lie growing up: life is linear.

There is no such thing as:
grow up —> graduate college —> get married —> buy a house —> have babies —> work until you retire —> sail off into the sunset of retirement until you die

Just telling you right now, that’s a load of crap. Now your life might be following in that same path, doing things by the book but stay with me for a moment…

Sure, the main points might show up in your life’s timeline like that but I want you to be really honest with yourself: was it all one smooth forward moving procession? Without any hiccups?

Most likely, if you really dig deep, the answer is no. Your lifeline might be riddled with breakups, disappointments, closed doors, death & loss, trauma/abuse, or a number of other things that set your goals and life “off track”. These are your redirections.

However, I would like to challenge the thought of being “off track”.

There is no “off track” in life.

All of the redirections, every disappointment, the unexpected losses, etc were all part of what led you to where you are today.

And that can SUCK. Royally.

Those moments in life, where you saw yourself going so far “off track” from the aforementioned lie we were fed and forced to believe, was the actual intended course of your life.

Now, I know you might be saying “I got fired from my dream job, how is that the plan?”

Well, this redirection could have been the universe pushing you out of a job that could have turned toxic if you had stayed.

I’m not saying that when something happens to you, just suck it up as a predetermined fact. HORRIBLE things happen and you have every right to be angry, upset, frustrated, and question why. 

I’m challenging the idea of life being “off track.”

As horrible of an experience of being sexually assaulted in high school was for me (more specifically the trauma and mental pain I carried for years later), I would not be the person I am today.

The sad truth is I will never know who I might have become without my traumatic experience. It is one of my defining redirections in life.

Even as I’m writing this I find myself crying, mourning the girl who will never be.

You are fully in your right to be sad and to feel all that you need to feel when coming to that realization.

However, I do feel the life I am living now is serving its purpose. I wouldn’t be writing this blog and sharing my experiences to help others without everything before.

That girl before the trauma was never supposed to be here today. And that’s ok.

We often don’t know the importance of these redirections until years later.

Every shitty experience.

Every accomplishment.

Every little action or inaction.

Life has a funny (sometimes dark & twisted) way of pushing you & redirecting you to where you’re meant to go. They each molds themselves to be & do what you need in order to be on the “right” course.

I believe in the idea of “everything happens for a reason” which I know some people hate. Those who hate it argueing the belief as a form of dismissing reality.

But as someone who has suffered from trauma and its lasting effects, I can honestly say I don’t regret anything that has happened in my past.

I dare you to examine the people you see who are “living the dream” and investigate.

Have they really lived life without some kind of disappointment?

Remember: trauma and pain look and feel different to everyone. Very few people are willing to open up with vulnerability and show their low moments.

There can be no light without the dark.

This comes up in our subconscious decisions as well. Your body & how it reacts to certain situations is a big indicator.

Are you dreading waking up and going to work in the morning? Constantly late?

Are you noticing some anxiety coming up in your life surrounding a decision you have to make? Need to confront a manager or friend?

I can promise you, these are the warning signs from the body that something has to change.

Follow & trust your gut. Experiement & fail along the way.

Life on the other side is better than your worst fear. It may feel like your world is going to cave in as you know it but don’t let that hold you back. [this is a reminder to take my own advice]

What if it is better than you can imagine now? It’s hard for our brains to let go & believe when we might not have the examples to call upon.

The one bummer about it all is I cannot tell you how long the “off track” part will last.

With the proper help and resources, only you are able to make that assessment.

For me, it was 15 years.

But that is just how long it took me to really process my abuse.

With that said:

I AM STILL GOING THROUGH REDIRECTIONS IN MY LIFE.

Life is a journey, its not about “getting there” because “there” does not exist.

Life will ebb and flow and then completely throw a curve ball at you.

The good news is we getter better with each new redirection that happens.

Sending all my love & support <3

*featured image by Adrian Williams on Unsplash